Belle, Dallas, you’ve been counting the days for
over a year – and probably the hours the last few days – and now it’s here: Your
wedding day, the day in which your individual timelines – and those of your
families – will become forever intertwined. Indeed, today, June 26, 2021, you
will become one in Christ, and we are all here to share in your joy. So let’s
begin by putting everything in context by anchoring this moment in God’s word.
“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Romans 12.10).“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!” (I Corinthians 13.4-8).
My dear friends – and I say that so deliberately – my dear friends, your choice
of Scripture readings is truly profound. Of course, it’s no surprise that both
readings touch on love, but they do so in subtly different ways. In the verse
from Romans, Paul reminds us – reminds you – to love honestly and thoroughly,
such that your loving – your honoring, serving, and deferring to one another –
becomes a source of pleasure, delight even. The verse previous to the one you
chose, verse 9, brings that out even more. “Don’t just pretend to love others,”
Paul writes. “Really love them.”
How? Paul provides some ideas in Romans further
on, but he really nails the “how” in the reading you chose from I Corinthians 13
– the love chapter, as it’s known, and it’s in every wedding you’ve ever been to
probably. But you chose to have us zero in on one part of the love chapter in
particular, verses four to eight – the guts of the love chapter, the quick-start
instruction manual. There’s no theologizing there, nothing abstract. Paul
insists that love in action is longsuffering and benevolent; it’s not pigheaded
or vulgar or selfish. It’s not cranky either, or sarcastic, and it’s definitely
not wimpy. Rather love is loyal and persevering, never giving up no matter what.
And here’s the kicker: You can’t live up to all these lofty goals…on your own!
You’ll need God’s grace, but even with grace, you’ll still fall short from time
to time. That’s why Paul throws in that line about not keeping a record of being
wronged. That’s absolutely key, because even when you’re bound and determined to
love each other perfectly – a good and noble goal to set on your wedding day, to
be sure! – nonetheless, you’ll still fail from time to time (ask anybody that’s
been married for longer than, say, a week), so you just have to get used to
saying “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you,” and then keep going, keep getting
better at it. Keep getting better at loving each other.
That’s how marriages last 40, 50 years and longer, and it’s pretty
good prep for being parents as well – something I know you’re both looking
forward to. Back in Romans 12, Paul writes further on, “Be patient in trouble,
and keep on praying,” and then “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help
them.” If that’s not a formula for Christian parenthood, I don’t know what is –
and it’s a mission you’ll take on together in God’s time with great love.
And
what a mission! Marriage and family intentionally rooted in Christ is a rich
life, full of love and laughter and lavish generosity. I see you both reveling
in that kind of rich life as the years unfold – as you welcome the children we
pray God sends you, as you build up with them your own little domestic kingdom
of love and life, and then as you two grow old together surrounded by a
rollicking mob.
Oh, the smiles you’ll know then – the sighs of contentment and
peace. “Love will last forever,” Paul tells us at the end of that Romans verse
you chose, because God is love and we become part of eternal love when we join
our loving to his. That’s what you begin today. That’s why we’re here.
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