Dance Marathon III: Of Carnival and Caring

It’s a pleasure to return to Dance Marathon, to join the fun, and join you in supporting the vital work of Riley Hospital – a work that makes a huge difference in the lives of countless kids and their families. 

This year’s theme – Carnival – got me thinking: Carnival, especially in New Orleans, is really about partying right before Ash Wednesday because Lent is coming. Literally, etymologically, carnival means “saying goodbye to meat” because you’re about to embark on a 40-day journey of fasting. 

In other words, real carnivals might involve riotous celebration, but they’re also tinged with sadness: There’s an awareness that the partying will soon stop and not return for a while. 

Maybe we share those mixed emotions here, because we might be whooping it up, but we’re doing it in solidarity with those who are facing big challenges: The kids at Riley, their families and friends, even the doctors and nurses trying to help them get beyond those challenges. 

My family has known such challenges, especially when my son, Nick, had to have open-heart surgery when he was just one. The carnival of celebrating his birth and life, of getting to know him, was true joy his first year. Then, when he had to go under the knife, our joy was, in a sense, put on hold. Everything was on hold – almost like we held our breath while our little Nick was a Riley patient. We fasted from merrymaking. It was like a Lent while he recovered. 

But here’s another funny etymological oddity: The word Lent means springtime, and it’s true that, even in this season of waiting for Easter redemption, we are surrounded by reminders of new life coming: Grass is growing; flowers are blooming; days are longer and warmer. Truly, winter darkness is at an end; the light of good times is on the horizon! 

So it is with the Lent that so many Riley families experience. They put their lives on hold to care for their sick and injured kids with the hope that things can get better. That they will get better. The folks at Riley are dedicated to doing everything possible to make that hope a reality. Like so many, we are grateful to them, and so also grateful to you for supporting them in supporting us. Thanks!
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Nick was privileged to share about his life at the 2025 Saint Mary's College Riley Dance Marathon on Sunday, April 6. The annual event raises funds for Riley Hospital for Children, which provides critical life-saving treatments and healthcare services for kids from our region. For more information or to make a donation, follow this link.

Luminous Pluck: Salt and Light in a Hurting World

 

“I could have done more. This regret will follow me to my death…. 

Every child saved with my help is the justification of my existence

on this Earth, and not a title to glory.”

 ~ Irena Sendler

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Catholic Higher Education and the Pursuit of Holiness

“Why do we educate our daughters? Briefly we educate them for exactly the reason for which

God made them: to know, to love, to serve, to glorify Him now and forever.” 

 ~ Sr. M. Madeleva Wolff, CSC

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Of Shopping Carts and Service: A Pinning Reflection

I was honored to give a faculty reflection at the Saint Mary's College Nursing Pinning ceremony today. The graduating class is the first cohort of students I had the privilege of teaching since coming to Saint Mary's two years ago, and I wanted my reflection to be a gift to them and their families. I wanted it to be something really special and meaningful. 

So I ended up writing two. 

This was the first one, but I wasn't satisfied that it struck the right note. Neither was my wife, and I trust her opinion, so I buckled down and hammered out another (which I managed to deliver with a minimum of sobs, believe it or not). Still, I kinda' like this one, and I did write it for my students, so I'm going to post it here to make it easy to forward to them. 
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Welcome honored guests, friends and family (moms and dads particularly), and, of course, you – Saint Mary’s College class of 2024 nursing graduates. Congratulations! You made it! 

Before I get rolling, a quick shout out to Torie Hardt’s mom. Thanks for teaching your kids to put away stray shopping carts in the grocery store parking lot. Hearing that from Torie last week was just the affirmation I needed as I prepared this address. 

Shopping carts, you ask? Parking lots? Stay with me here. Now, think back, if you will, to the height of Covid with social and economic upheaval, including disruptions in the labor market. Among other things, that meant that collecting shopping carts from the parking lot was often a lower priority for the grocery stores trying to keep shelves stocked. 

If you’re like me, you started bringing in your own shopping cart from the parking lot to make sure you’d have one. I generally tried to grab one that hadn’t made it into one of those stalls – the ones that roll around and scratch your paintjob on a windy day. 

Sure, I’d grumble: Couldn’t this person have walked ten feet to put away the cart? No matter – I grabbed it for myself. Then I started feeling guilty about bringing in my own parking lot stray when I saw others inside cart-less and stuck. I started bringing two – sometimes three or more when I was feeling ambitious – and then leaving the extras for others who hadn’t thought ahead. 

So that was one level of attitude change; here’s the next. That grumbling about the abandoned carts? I began imagining the folks who didn’t stow their carts properly, and I was convicted that some – most even – probably had good reason. Maybe a mom struggling with numerous kids; maybe an elderly woman for whom that extra ten feet of walking would be a real challenge. 

And, besides, who cares why those carts were loose or who’s responsible. I had the time; I had the energy. It’s a good thing to grab ‘em and bring them inside to benefit somebody else. I’m still doing it, but I’d like to think that my heart is softening little by little as well – that I’m more likely to give the benefit of the doubt to whomever left their carts adrift. 

So how is my guilt trip about shopping carts connected to nursing? Think of it like this: The shopping carts are like the job of nursing – the various tasks that nurses perform throughout the day, passing meds and doing assessments and all the charting, stuff like that. New nurses tend to focus on getting their tasks done – grabbing a cart for themselves, that is. Eventually, as they get more comfortable and confident in their skills and routines, they’ll begin grabbing carts for others – helping out nurses with busy patient assignments, for example, or going beyond the minimum in their bedside care.

But then, some nurses go even further: They manifest a generosity of spirit and a charitable demeanor that permeates all their interactions with others – patients and their families, for sure, but also fellow nurses and other staff as well. Even doctors! 

Let me give you a recent example: My chronic med-surg juniors do their clinicals on a local cancer unit. Toward the end of the semester, my student Allison told me about rounding on patients after morning report with her staff nurse, Amber. Entering one room, the two discovered that the patient’s I.V. had infiltrated and was leaking all over the bed. There was fluid and dried blood everywhere, and the patient was a mess.

Now, my kneejerk reaction might be to speculate why the night shift staff hadn’t caught this problem and dealt with it themselves. “My busy day is just beginning,” I might grumble to myself, “and now I have to make time for fixing somebody else’s problem.”

But Amber’s response? Without comment, Amber got right to work and enlisted my student to help. They pulled the I.V., cleaned up the patient, and changed the linens. Sure, they were delayed in their rounds, but it was the right thing to do – and they did it! No backbiting or criticism; no complaining or grumbling. It was a superb object lesson for my student in metaphorically grabbing an extra cart without judgment – just doing the right thing because it’s the right thing, even if you never get the credit.

And my student caught it – she remarked that Amber’s the kind of nurse she wants to be. That remark itself is a sign that she’s well on her way.

Maybe you’re wondering why I’m telling a story about a junior BSN student instead of one of these graduating seniors, right? Here’s the thing: As a rule – and I can say this because I’ve had all of these graduates in my class, and half of them in my clinicals – as a rule, catching on to Amber’s demonstration of charity and generosity is standard fare for Saint Mary’s nursing students. I see it, we all see it – heck, the patients and staff nurses see it, too! Telling about Allison, in other words, is telling about all our students, these graduates included. 

It's the ethos of this place, of Saint Mary’s – its culture and legacy of selfless service, initiated by the Holy Cross Sisters nearly 200 years ago, and carried forward to the present. It impacts all our graduates, but it’s no surprise that it’s particularly evident in our nursing grads. 

In other words, they didn’t just learn how to be a nurse here at Saint Mary’s – you can do that a lot of places. No, they got way more, and they’ll spend a lifetime in caring for others – at the bedside as nurses, at home with their families, and who knows where else – with a grace that’s borne of this place’s unique dynamism. 

So, again, congratulations graduates. God bless you as you launch into your nursing future and everything that’ll go with it. And friends and family, moms and dads? Next time you’re at the grocery story and see a stray cart, say an extra prayer for your graduate and then bring it inside as an act of solidarity. You’ll both benefit, and the world will get one more cart’s worth kinder as a result.

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Saint Wannabes: Catholic Higher Education and the Pursuit of Holiness

Saints don’t have to found activist movements, start religious orders, or run colleges. They can also become saints by getting the kids to soccer practice, making dinner, and reading bedtime stories.  

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Nursing School, Prayer, and Avoiding Burnout

I'm teaching a new Nursing 101 course at Saint Mary's College. It's designed to help sophomores in their transition from classroom to clinical next year. Recently I solicited anonymous feedback from my students, which resulted in this (edited) online announcement.

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A few of you turned in notes with comments and questions the other day, and I intend to follow up accordingly. However, two of the notes are worth addressing sooner rather than later, for they overlap and concern our theme for next week. 

The first concerns prayer. "I'm trying to be patient and respectful," one of you wrote, "but I don't understand why we are praying at the beginning of every class." That's a fair question, especially if you haven't yet encountered prayer in the classroom at Saint Mary's. 

But, as you know, SMC is a Catholic institution, and so one can expect that the culture on campus, both in and out of the classroom, will reflect Catholic values and practices to one degree or another. Obviously, there are many at SMC (students, faculty, staff) who aren't Catholic (or even Christian, or religious in any way), and it goes without saying that they are all valued members of the community. Be assured that there will never be pressure or incentive for anyone to become Catholic or adopt Catholic perspectives on anything, in my class or any SMC class.

Nonetheless, a majority of SMC students are Catholic, and they've come to SMC, in part, because it's Catholic. They (and their parents) anticipated that an SMC education would include an integrated Catholic vision of various subjects of study among other, often competing visions, and that there would be room and even encouragement to experience growth in the Faith. The faculty who aren't Catholic might provide less of those things, but it's reasonable that your Catholic faculty would provide more. 

That's what Pope St. John Paul II meant when he wrote that while all professors at Catholic colleges are to be inspired "by the principles of an authentically human life," Catholic professors are called to a higher standard: "Christians among the teachers are called to be witnesses and educators of authentic Christian life, which evidences attained integration between faith and life, and between professional competence and Christian wisdom" (Ex Corde Ecclesia, #22).

I know I don't do it perfectly, but that's what I'm striving to do, and prayer is at the heart of it.

Which brings me to the second note: "What are some ways to prevent nurse burnout," somebody asked. "I am worried since this is always a topic of conversation in healthcare." True enough, which is why we'll be talking about "self-care" next week, strategizing for how to build up your emotional and mental reserves as you head into clinicals next year and your nursing career after that. Prayer can play a key role in that regard. In fact, for those who follow a faith tradition, I'd say it's absolutely vital.

Indeed, I know our guest speaker next week will be talking about prayer along with meditation and other self-care practices, but it's also good to keep in mind that many of your patients may actually seek your prayerful support, which can be an important part of spiritual care. "Regardless of the faith tradition or practices of the patient, family, or nurse," suggest the authors of an article in RN Journal, "the moments taken to pray may provide comfort and renewal for all present."

So, by all means, pray along with me when we pray in class if you wish, or else use it as an opportunity to learn about SMC's Catholic heritage and the ways in which Catholics express their faith. For further conversation about this matter (or anything else), please don't hesitate to make an appointment or come by during my office hours. I'd love to hear from you!

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Thanks, Riley Hospital! A Dance Marathon Testimonial

Nick lip-synching "You Can't Always Get What You Want" (with an assist from Dad) 

When I introduce myself to people, I generally lead with my primary vocation, my main gig, which is being a husband and a father. Yes, I’m a nurse and a nursing instructor, and I love that career trajectory that I finally got to in life (after multiple false starts), especially now that I’m here at Saint Mary’s – go belles! Belle yeah! But even that takes a back seat to my being married to Nancy and being dad to our seven kids.

Yes, seven kids! Does that sound like a lot? Maybe, but remember that for most families, most the time, kids come one at a time. With each addition to the family, there’s a surge of adjustment and scrambling and redeployments of energy and attention, but, as days and months go by, the craziness settles down, and the now bigger family gets used to a routine again…until the next baby arrives.

And that’s how it went with us, pretty much, until Nick’s arrival. Nick is my sixth child – my third son – and he has Down syndrome. As a nurse, I had a vague idea of what that would mean for him going forward in life – certain adjustments in developmental expectations and educational goals, for example – but not so much in terms of health.

That changed within hours after his birth. “Nick has Down syndrome,” our midwife told us. “He’s at high risk for heart defects, and you’ll have to get him checked out today.” The echocardiogram did indeed identify some defects – four, in fact – but the doctors determined that it was safe to wait on surgery until Nick was a little older, a little bigger and stronger.

A little older, bigger, and stronger turned out to be a couple months after Nick’s first birthday. He had become significantly lethargic, and no amount of sleep restored his usual pep and energy. When Nancy took him to the clinic for a checkup, little did we know that they’d end up heading down to Riley Children’s Hospital in an ambulance directly. The cardiologists there did a heart catheterization on my infant son, and the results led them to schedule open heart surgery for Nick right away.

After it was all done and Nicky was recovering in the pediatric ICU, the cardiothoracic surgeon gave us a rundown on everything he fixed: closing up this hole and that hole that shouldn’t been there, and re-routing Nick’s cardiac flow for optimal health. We thanked him profusely, of course – who wouldn’t? And Nancy still prays for him to this day, 18 years later.

Yes, 18 years later – and now here’s my Nick, 19 years old, and getting ready to move on from Marian High School. He’s living the dream, I tell you, and we’re all grateful to Riley Hospital and the great team there for preserving Nick’s life during those critical days of his youth.

As a dad, I have to say that I’m especially grateful. One of the main jobs of a dad is to protect his wife and children – to be the firewall, either literally or figuratively, between his family and all that would harm them. But in Nick’s case, as his little one-year-old body struggled to thrive despite his broken heart, I couldn’t be that firewall: I didn’t have the knowledge or skills to save him; I needed help.

Riley Children’s Hospital was the help Nick needed, the answer to our prayers. Thanks, Riley, for being part of our family’s story, Nick’s story. And now, here’s Nick to tell you more of his story himself!
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Nick was privileged to share his story at the 2023 Saint Mary's College Riley Dance Marathon on April 15. The annual event raises funds for Riley Hospital for Children, which treats children from our area and provides critical life-saving treatments and healthcare services for children and their families.  For more information or to make a donation, follow this link.