Father Stu: The Language of Love

“To boast in the Cross is an almost fierce gesture

when we confront all that would defeat us.”

~ Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR

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Ignoring Women's Health? A Pro-Life Response

The other day, I posted a short piece by Patrick Kelly from the Knights of Columbus that appeared in the Wall Street Journal. The piece was timed to coincide with weekend Roe v. Wade commemorations, and it celebrated the magnificent contributions pregnancy resource centers have made toward promoting life and supporting pregnant women over the years – a compassionate, charitable work that predates the 1973 Supreme Court decision. 

In my public post, I included the following pull-quote from Kelly's article regarding the centers: 

The Guttmacher Institute...complains they are “typically staffed by volunteers and employees who lack medical training and licensure.” It’s a strange criticism from those for whom a “successful” medical procedure always ends in the death of a human being.

In response, a friend of mine made this (public) comment:

Of course, WSJ ignores the health of the women with that crack. I guess for them being pro life really does stop at birth - at which point they are pro chaos.

Here's what I wrote in reply.
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Hey, friend. Normally I wouldn't respond to comments I find offensive, but this one, really, is beyond the pale. 

To begin with, the article is by Patrick Kelly from the Knights of Columbus, not the WSJ editorial board. That's important because the K of C are directly and extensively involved in supporting and underwriting the good efforts of crisis pregnancy centers across the country (and around the world, I think). I'm a proud member of the Knights and happy to be associated with their charitable efforts.  

Second, and more importantly, if you actually spoke with anyone who was thoroughly pro-life or familiarized yourself with their work, you'd know that it's frankly silly to accuse them of ignoring women's health. "The people who work at these centers serve the whole person—medically, financially, emotionally and spiritually," Kelly writes in his piece. "That’s something no abortion clinic can do, and it helps explain why their numbers are dwindling while the number of pregnancy resource centers grows." By working tirelessly to provide pregnant moms with what they need to continue their pregnancies and care for their babies after delivery, crisis pregnancy centers are most definitely committed to maternal health as well as defending preborn life. 

Still, I'm willing to grant you the benefit of the doubt, and I'm guessing your comment is related to the myth that abortion is sometimes required to preserve a woman's health. That's a false notion that's rooted in a shortsighted ethical perspective. Consider this statement from the American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists:

When extreme medical emergencies that threaten the life of the mother arise..., AAPLOG believes in "treatment to save the mother’s life," including premature delivery if that is indicated — obviously with the patient’s informed consent. This is NOT "abortion to save the mother’s life." We are treating two patients, the mother and the baby, and every reasonable attempt to save the baby’s life would also be a part of our medical intervention. We acknowledge that, in some such instances, the baby would be too premature to survive.

Anyway, maybe that sounds like so much sophistry and ethical mumbo-jumbo, but you can hardly accuse those who embrace that stance of "ignoring" women's health. Pro-life people are just that: Pro-life. The baby's life. The mom's life. The life of the elderly, the infirm, the brain-injured. The poor, the marginalized, the incarcerated, the immigrant. "I have set before you life and death," God tells the Israelites, "therefore choose life" (Deut. 30.19). It's a command that pro-life folks (like me) try to embody and promote every day. Sometimes we do it well; sometimes not. Even so, we're always striving to foster a world in which killing is never required to solve problems. Never. 

So, please talk to some pro-life people. Hell, talk to me. I'll be happy to tell you how I see all this stuff. But, please, friend, don't accuse me and those who think like me of ignoring women's health just because we are opposed to killing babies in the womb. That's just foolishness.
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A Message to My Goddaughter on the Occasion of Her Confirmation

To war! To war! Once more into the breach!

I stand behind you, Mary, as you now take up arms in the battle for God's glory – you are a warrior now, grown to full sacramental stature and equipped to lay waste all that stands in the way of God's reign.

Courage! 

Honor!

No compromise – victory alone! 

I will continue to pray for you daily as you launch into the company of warriors already engaged in this struggle. I'm proud to have stood by you at the start. 

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Wedding Homily

Lord Jesus, you are here for we are gathered in your name, and we gather with Belle and Dallas as they join their lives together in you. Bless them as they commit themselves to each other – bless this moment of beginnings, this launching of Belle and Dallas’s glorious adventure! And bless us all as we support them in that adventure, both as it begins today and long, long into the future. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

Belle, Dallas, you’ve been counting the days for over a year – and probably the hours the last few days – and now it’s here: Your wedding day, the day in which your individual timelines – and those of your families – will become forever intertwined. Indeed, today, June 26, 2021, you will become one in Christ, and we are all here to share in your joy. So let’s begin by putting everything in context by anchoring this moment in God’s word. 

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Romans 12.10).

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!” (I Corinthians 13.4-8).

My dear friends – and I say that so deliberately – my dear friends, your choice of Scripture readings is truly profound. Of course, it’s no surprise that both readings touch on love, but they do so in subtly different ways. In the verse from Romans, Paul reminds us – reminds you – to love honestly and thoroughly, such that your loving – your honoring, serving, and deferring to one another – becomes a source of pleasure, delight even. The verse previous to the one you chose, verse 9, brings that out even more. “Don’t just pretend to love others,” Paul writes. “Really love them.” 

How? Paul provides some ideas in Romans further on, but he really nails the “how” in the reading you chose from I Corinthians 13 – the love chapter, as it’s known, and it’s in every wedding you’ve ever been to probably. But you chose to have us zero in on one part of the love chapter in particular, verses four to eight – the guts of the love chapter, the quick-start instruction manual. There’s no theologizing there, nothing abstract. Paul insists that love in action is longsuffering and benevolent; it’s not pigheaded or vulgar or selfish. It’s not cranky either, or sarcastic, and it’s definitely not wimpy. Rather love is loyal and persevering, never giving up no matter what. 

And here’s the kicker: You can’t live up to all these lofty goals…on your own! You’ll need God’s grace, but even with grace, you’ll still fall short from time to time. That’s why Paul throws in that line about not keeping a record of being wronged. That’s absolutely key, because even when you’re bound and determined to love each other perfectly – a good and noble goal to set on your wedding day, to be sure! – nonetheless, you’ll still fail from time to time (ask anybody that’s been married for longer than, say, a week), so you just have to get used to saying “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you,” and then keep going, keep getting better at it. Keep getting better at loving each other.

That’s how marriages last 40, 50 years and longer, and it’s pretty good prep for being parents as well – something I know you’re both looking forward to. Back in Romans 12, Paul writes further on, “Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying,” and then “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them.” If that’s not a formula for Christian parenthood, I don’t know what is – and it’s a mission you’ll take on together in God’s time with great love. 

And what a mission! Marriage and family intentionally rooted in Christ is a rich life, full of love and laughter and lavish generosity. I see you both reveling in that kind of rich life as the years unfold – as you welcome the children we pray God sends you, as you build up with them your own little domestic kingdom of love and life, and then as you two grow old together surrounded by a rollicking mob. 

Oh, the smiles you’ll know then – the sighs of contentment and peace. “Love will last forever,” Paul tells us at the end of that Romans verse you chose, because God is love and we become part of eternal love when we join our loving to his. That’s what you begin today. That’s why we’re here.

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Servant of God Dorothy Day: A Personal Witness

 

"Don't call me a saint, I don't want to be dismissed that easily." 

 ~ Dorothy Day

"Once you get to know her, she's just like any other crabby old lady." 

 ~ Stanley Vishnewski

Even so, many thanks, Dorothy. Pray for me. 

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St. John Paul II, Pope: A Testimonial

 

John Paul II was an athlete and an artist. A scholar and a saint. But to me and countless others, the Polish Pontiff was simply Papa.
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Bl. John of Cetina & Bl. Peter de Dueñas

The dramatic saga of John of Cetina and Peter de Dueñas can be summarized in a single line: “Franciscans of Spain,” writes hagiographer Basil Watkins, “they were sent to the Muslim kingdom of Granada in order to try and evangelize the inhabitants and were predictably killed.”

As you’d expect, there’s more to this story.

Born in 1340, John had a privileged childhood, but he gravitated to obscurity and penitence. In time he made his way to the Franciscans of Aragon, where he made his profession and was ordained. Although a popular preacher, John longed for solitude, and he retired to a cave in Valencia to take up an eremitical life.

Word of heroic Franciscan martyrdoms in the Holy Land reached Father John, and he committed himself to missionary work among the Moors, despite his solitary inclinations and the risks. John received permission to visit the Muslims of southern Spain in 1396, and he prepared for his journey.

At the time, Franciscan missionaries always traveled in pairs, and Father John chose Brother Peter to be his companion. Peter was around 19 years old and just starting out in his religious vocation. Nonetheless, he was eager to join Father John, and he rebuffed objections to his participation in such a dangerous undertaking.

It wasn’t long after the two arrived in Granada before they were arrested and hauled before the Sultan. Offered the choice between conversion to Islam and death, the two readily accepted the latter. The Sultan promptly complied, beheading them both by his own hand.

Pope Clement XII beatified the pair in 1731. The promulgation of their exploits likely spurred the missionary aspirations of another Spanish Franciscan, young Junípero Serra, who would eventually become the Apostle of California.

The memorial of John of Cetina and Peter de Dueñas is observed on May 19, the day of their martyrdom in 1397.
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A shorter version of this reflection originally appeared in Franciscan Magazine, Franciscan University of Steubenville.